Showing posts with label videogames. Show all posts
Showing posts with label videogames. Show all posts

Friday, June 14, 2013

Games

You would think someone was ridiculous if they played games in order to lose. This is because a very important defining aspect of a game is the idea of their being a winner. We can agree that a game isn't really a game if someone doesn't win and if someone doesn't lose.

Oh, but wait. If we take that as our definition, then suddenly a massive back-log of pc games, xbox games, Nintendo games, videogames of all kinds, fall into some sort of no-man's land category. Video games marked an important step in the history of gaming of moving into territory where only one person has to play to make it a game, and so long as the human player wins, the loser doesn't possess consciousness and so doesn't understand in an emotional way that they have lost. The same goes for the situation of the human player losing and the computer winning. Since the computer cannot feel the concept of winning, is it still a victory?

Well, the answer is probably yes because of the human player's ability to imagine the great humiliation of the computer's loss or the swelling of the computer's pride after victory. Now, this sounds pretty dumb, but we have to realize, that the hundreds and hundreds of hours we've dropped into games like Pokemon, The Legend of Zelda, Super Mario Brothers, or whatever, are all contingent on the feeling of beating competition. It all comes down to Nietzsche's will to power really, the idea that men are driven by a desperate desire to assert themselves as the best.

Now, what this means is that real estate barons and video game champions are really operating on the same principles. But, unfortunately for big-time gamers, it's near impossible to earn a living through video gaming. Maybe someone should make a stocks and bonds video game that was tied into the world market. That way we'd start to see a lot of eleven year old millionaires dropping out of elementary school to put more time into cultivating their empire. This plan could solve our educational woes. Education sucks because it's a pathetic game. I've played Uno and War and frankly, they just aren't very fun. I don't plan on playing Uno or War again any time soon because their are plenty of far better games out there. Similarly, the educational process is as boring as watching a pile of rocks. If someone could figure out how to turn it into a decent game, that could be okay, but the best situation would be to sidestep education altogether and go ahead and let kids, teenagers, and young adults become contributing members of society through a game platform. This is a free idea for anyone to take by the way.

Robotics will change the way that games and work can intermesh.

First, apply Asimov's laws of robotics so that no one can be hurt, and then have a kid controlling a team of robots that run a hydroponic farm in Northern Ontario. The game aspect is that winning results in earning money. I'd say that Education should consist of about six years of learning robotics, programming, systems administration, language, economics, writing, communication, business mathematics, and entrepreneurship. At the end of the first three years of school, kids pick which sort of services or business they are interested in and then learn how to program and control their robot team and conduct the business they will be doing. After another two years, the games begin. Graduates are given their own team of robots and begin work. For the first couple of years, the kids are monitored heavily in order to assure that they aren't running their businesses at a loss, and then, once they learn to successfully run and operate their business, they are left to do it. The money to fund giving a kid their own robot would be freed up by the mere fact that education ends at 11 rather than 18. Seven years of not having to pay educators, build and upkeep middle and high schools, bus students around, and on and on, would result in the funds to give graduating 11 year olds their own robot team with which they could make a living for all time. 

And what's more, the interface that kids would be running their business from would be very much like a game. Kids would feel like they were playing an awesome game, but they would also be earning a living 10-20 years before our society is currently preparing individuals to do so.

It's time that we stopped playing the game of pretending to educate young people, only to send them out to the world unprepared for anything but failure and a wish to play a fun game. Anyone can see, from the amount of time they've spent in line waiting to buy a drink at a gas station while poor idiots throw their money away on lottery tickets, that people long for a game that will successfully marry fun with financial freedom. Lets get rid of the lottery and change the educational system around. Lets allow anyone to re-enroll in this new kind of school to right the wrongs of the terrible education we've all received in the US.

Lets play.

Monday, June 10, 2013

How to Survive Long Video Game Sessions

Games can go for a long time. Ah, ok. Games can go on for a long, long, long time. Lets face it, right now, there is a game you could be playing, but as odd as it seems, sometimes games go on so long that you have to take a break. That's why we've made a game breakroom after all! In this post we'll discuss what you can do to survive a long video game session. I mean, we've heard all the urban myths about kids dying after drinking 2 cases of energy drinks and not even getting up to hit the head. No one's really sure if that story is true or not, but neither does anyone want to test it!
Okay, so here we go.

1) Let Darkness Reign

First of all, you've got to cover windows up with blankets. You are just not going to be able to make it through the day with light streaming through. Reflections on the screen are bad and a huge concentration breaker. Also, you'd be surprised how much a good blanket over the window will muffle unwanted outdoor noises.

2) Mini-fridge

You need a mini-fridge within the space of a 3 second dash in order to stay stocked on game fuel. Some think it would be better if you can get the mini-fridge to within arm's reach, but lets face it, part of the greatness of the dash is that you havn't stretched your legs for a while, and it actually feels pretty good to get some blood pumping somewhere other than your thumbs and eyelids.

 3. Skype

Dial up your buddies and talk through your gaming session because the only thing better than a long video game session is a long video game session with your friends. The one drawback is that the skype call may drain a little of your ping power, but at least you'll have someone to talk to. 

4. Making a living

Nothing destroys a long game session like having to go to work. What you want to do is make sure that you either don't have to go to work or the work you go to is sort of the same thing as video gaming. There's really all kinds of things you can do to keep the green coming in and be a major player in the video gaming world. You could, for one, make video games for a living. I have a cousin-in-law that does this quite happily in San Francisco. When the last Diablo game hit the stores, the whole company declared it was Diablo day and did nothing but play the game during regular operating hours.

If you aren't able to make video games to pay the bills, I suggest doing things for a passive income, like selling stock photography or making a blog and monetizing it. For instance, this blog brings in a whopping $130 a week! Just enough to buy plenty of game fuel and hot dogs to let me defeat HOM III's Barbarian Breakout on Impossible setting for the 4th straight time.

5. Sleep At some point, even a gamer has to bed down. You just want to make sure that you get your game started before it gets so late that you can't help but fall asleep in your chair. Believe me, I've been the guy asleep with his hand on the mouse only 20 minutes into a game. With LAN games there's always the possibility that it could take an hour or more to get everything going, especially if someone shows up and proclaims they just deleted everything off their computer and will have to reload it all, split their hard drive, load up bootcamp, load up windows, download the game from the internet, and on and on and on. But to tell the truth, I've been in Age of Empires type games when I fell asleep for an hour or so and when I woke up, nothing really had changed.

6. Cleanliness

Do not use axe body spray. Your body odor is pleasing compared to the smell of axe body spray covering your body odor. The thing about axe body spray is that it starts out smelling unpleasant, and then the truth of your body odor is hard to take. The two mixed together is perfectly terrible. One thing you can do is just change your t-shirt. A fresh shirt will do wonders for your smell. The old, grubby t-shirt compounds the smell factor, whereas a new, freshly laundered shirt, has a way of neutralizing your body odor for a time. What to do when the new shirt reaches max capacity? Put on an even newer shirt!

 7. Hand Cramps

I recommend that you switch your posture out now and again. Lay for a while belly down, lay on your side for a while, sit for a while, maybe even stand! Now the next move isn't for the faint of heart, but if you can learn how to play ambidextrously, switching out your left hand to control the mouse, then you'll really be ahead of the game. This is better for slow-pace games like Empire Earth rather than your League of Legends style game.

8. Hostile Trolling

Other gamers can be the worst. Sometimes the best thing you can do is reduce your game window so that you can't see any of the trolling. When you're headed for a 5+ hour game session, the last thing you need is low morale. Instead of losing your esteem to rage gamers, play some rock music and jam out while you game. I suggest a little Dio, some Steely Dan, and the Flaming Lips. So there you have it. Hopefully you'll be able to apply these ideas to max out your gaming sessions. What are some other key strategies you've employed to assure long game session success?